extravert

How Are You Holding Up This Year?


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How are you holding up this year?

(Join me on Facebook live Oct. 1 as we discuss this topic – 1 p.m. Mountain time) 

            Some people are doing ok; others, not so well.  Kelly Taylor, a worker in the Geotech industry had this to say:  “The fact that I don’t interact with anybody at all is difficult.  Even as an introvert, it gets really old being inside my head all the time.”  She went on to say,  “I feel isolated and like nobody cares about me or even gives me enough thought to care.”  Well, all I can say is, “Kelly, I bet you’re not alone.”  In fact, here’s some interesting research I found about mental health burnout, published by Martec Corp.

This study found 4 groups in various stages of burnout:    

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1.    Thriving – 16% of workers in this category – primarily females in mid 20’s to mid 50’s and those who described themselves as introverts

2.    Hopeful – 25%. – Satisfied with employers but struggle with mental health and productivity issues

3.    Discouraged – 26% - Significant decline in mental health and job satisfaction

4.    Trapped – 33% - Suffered the biggest decline in mental health and in company satisfaction – missed out the most - interacting with colleagues.  Miserable at home and anxious to return to how things were before.

People in categories 3 and 4 were primarily extraverts – that makes sense, doesn’t it?  They’re the ones most in need of energy-rechargers like people, noise, and lots of things going on!  

             Where do you find yourself?  Obviously, we all want to be in the “Thriving” Category, but those results showed only 16% -- What are those folks doing to thrive? 

            Resiliency is the big winner – that ability to adapt, to recover quickly from difficulties, toughness.  Just like Mortimer the Cat here tells us, “you don’t throw someone out just because they’ve been dinged up a bit.”  People with resiliency may get dinged up a bit, but they will make it – to that “thriving” category. 

            How can you become more resilient?  Here are 10 ways:

1.    Don’t try to solve problems with the same thinking that created them.  If you keep wishing for “the good old days before COVID,” that won’t help.

2.    Master your emotions before they manage you.  Remember you’ve overcome setbacks before and you can do it again.

3.    Stay tough – Face your fears and focus on possibilities.

4.    Keep growing – Life is not what happens to us, but what happens in us.

5.    Stay prepared – Don’t get “analysis paralysis.”

6.    Pick yourself up, as many times as it takes.  Never give up!

7.    Reward the small wins.  Believe in yourself

8.    Keep giving – Don’t stop your tithing; find ways to care for others

9.    Build relationships, both personal and professional

10. Create your own meaning – a personal “why.” 

Remember the choices we make every day determine how resilient we can be when things go wrong. 

      I encourage you to be one of the 16% who’s thriving – even in this year of I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening!  Even if you can identify with Mortimer the Cat - dinged up but still hanging in there!

      And if you need some help in moving into that category, please e-mail me for a counseling appointment – and remember to join me each Thursday at 1 p.m. Mountain time on Facebook when I’ll share my “Therapy Thursday’s”.

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What Do you Do? Go With What You Know - Step 2

What Do You Do When You Don’t Know What To Do?

question marks Step 2 – Go With What You Know

             What things do you know about yourself? Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Do you have a dominant personality and step right up to take charge? You might consider yourself an influential, inspiring person who can sell ice to Eskimos, as the saying goes! Perhaps your strength is being a team player or maybe you’re excellent with details!

Such personality traits can be discovered by a strengths assessment inventory, like the DISC. I enjoy using the DISC because it’s easy to associate the four major attributes of someone’s personality to the letters.

        D = Dominant, direct – these are “big picture” people

        I = Influence, inspiration – the “fun lovers” who love people

        S = Stability, security – they will listen and provide safety

        C = Conscientious, careful – great with details

        While there’s a lot involved in the thorough discovery of your particular make-up, here’s a couple of examples and general observations to help you go with what you know about you:

Since I know my two dominant DISC personality traits are “I” and “D,” I’ve learned that when I need to work with figures or get a research project done, I have to consciously make lists, set deadlines, or – my favorite choice – get someone who has an “S” or “C” personality to help me out!!

My husband is an “S” -“C” combination – of course! Haven’t you heard that opposites attract? We laughingly refer to his “S” characteristic as “The Saint”  because he can get along with almost anyone! And guess who handles the money in our household? My husband, of course! That’s one of his strong points.

        Knowing your primary personality strengths and weaknesses is key to really knowing you.  

         In addition, recognizing whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert can help when you’re trying to choose the right path.

An extroverted person is energized by being around a lot of people, noise and activity.   And, introverts recharge their batteries by spending time alone or taking a nap.

Think of times when you’ve used your strengths. Do you have a knack for working with kids? When you hang out with them, does a crowd gather? Perhaps you are a great listener and people just seem to tell you things they’ve never told another soul.   Is there a counselor inside you just waiting to be released?  Often, people realize they already know about addictions because of their own family dynamics.

And sometimes you’ll learn things through “the school of hard knocks.”  Have you ever said, “Well, that’s a mistake I’ll never make again!” You’ve learned something through that experience that adds to what you know and who you’ve become.

        What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

  1.   Start with what you’ve been given (see previous blog)
  2.   Go with what you know

Join me next time as I discuss step 3:

  1. Take a risk